Lost and Found

*********************************************************************************************************

It’s happened again. I’ve fallen behind. Ridiculously behind. I visited my wonderful friend, Kristina, in Serbia, my beloved old roomie, Alex, in Germany, volunteered on a farm with a fabulous family in Ireland, and traveled half way around the world back to Minnesota [Surprise! I’m home for those of you who didn’t know!], and yet, I wrote about none of it. Sorry. I’ve been home for over a week, have remained unemployed, rarely left the house, and still haven’t updated the world wide web… Whoops. Remember when I used to have exciting excuses for not writing? Like being on a midnight train to Austria? Or prancing around Eastern Europe with my friend Victoria? These days, I’ve been avoiding writing for much less thrilling and much more depressing reasons – most notably, depression. Reverse culture shock, an overwhelming excess of free time, and the realization that I currently have no excuse to flee American society have brought me down. I’m jazzed about being back with my family and friends, but readjusting is taking some time. Please bare with me and my over dramatic writing. I’m making things out to be much worse than they really are. I’ll settle back in soon enough, I’m sure.

I’ve thought about writing everyday since I’ve been home, but I’ve had a hard time wrapping my head around it. It almost feels like if I write this post, it will officially be over. No more flights. No new countries. Friends scattered. Pictures uploaded. French bank account closed. Calls being directed towards an American phone. My blog is the last bit of the year that remains. I realize how silly it sounds, but that’s where I’m at right now. Instead of letting these things continue to drag me down, though, I decided it was time to write one last post to get my shit together, stop being a whiney pants, process my thoughts, and reflect on the year. I need to stop complaining about it being over, and start smiling because it happened. I also couldn’t just leave my faithful followers (all 16 of you) hanging like that! So here are some lists of things lost, found, learned, etc. to sum things up a bit, because who doesn’t love some youthful half-baked wisdom in list form?

Things realized/learned:

• Paris is the best. Really. I know it’s lame and cliché, but: Paris, je t’aime. Even after visiting Austria, Italy, Poland, The Czech Republic, Hungary, Serbia, Germany and Ireland, each with numerous amazing cities, Paris still remains at the top of my list. No matter how many times I’ve been there, I always find something new to see or do. It has a beauty, a vibrance, and an ambiance that has yet to be matched in my eyes.
• I’m an introvert at heart. Most of you are probably thinking, “Um… duh?” while others might be surprised. It probably depends on how long you’ve known me. My desire to be liked can bring out my sociable side making me seem outgoing and extroverted at first glance, but I’ve realized this year that I’m much more comfortable in small groups. I love interacting with people, but I’m also content spending time alone. Some long talks with Victoria helped me come around to accepting this about myself.
• Everything is bigger in America. I’ve always known this, but everything has been magnified after being away for so long. Cars. Roads. Houses. Food. Washing machines. Water glasses [pointed out by Kate]. People. The size doesn’t really bother me as much as the waste. If you want to indulge every once in awhile, great, but be aware of your consumption. I don’t want to get all preachy and tell everyone off for killing the world, but I’m pretty sick of our consumer-centric society right now.
• Meat is not for me. I broke my four and a half year streak of vegetarianism a handful of times during my travels, but I’ve decided that being meat-free wasn’t just a weird phase I went through in college. It’s something that I want to continue to live by, and I hope to encourage others to join me! It can be a little tricky in certain situations, but I feel both physically and ethically better without mammals in my body.
• Too much free time is just as bad as not having enough. I constantly used to wish for a day off when I was at Olaf, swamped with eight classes a semester, papers, exams, rehearsals, social obligations, etc., etc., but after seven months of 12 (often 7 or 8) hour work weeks and ridiculously long (and frequent) vacations, I long for the opposite. It seems to be a “grass is greener” situation. I want to be busy! Well, I want to be balanced. I work well with a lot on my plate, but not an overflowing buffet of stress. Something to work on.
• Kids are cool. Spending time with Monique’s granddaughter (5 year old Hélena), and the two little ones on the farm in Ireland (4 year old Archer and 1.5 year old Tallulah) made me realize how much I love children. The way they think and act without all of the weird social hang ups that adults have is fantastic. Not that it’s going to happen anywhere in my near future, but hanging out with these kids made me realize that maaaybe one day I’ll want to adopt my own. Maybe.
• How to ask for help. I’ve always been a very proud person, trying to do find my own way or do things without the help of others, but I realized how much easier things can be if you simply ask for directions or a helping hand. People will sometimes surprise you and offer up help even when you don’t ask for it, and it is wonderful! Like the man who saw Victoria and me looking confused in Budapest and quickly ran up to help us find our way. Or the man in Ireland who pulled over and informed me that I was trying to hitch a ride on the wrong road.
• Genuinely good people do exist. I’ve met some. American assistants, couchsurfing hosts, French friends, Irish hitchhiker hosts, just to name a few. I have some faith in humanity.

Things lost:

• Some of my obnoxious inhibitions. Like my fear of talking on the phone. I realize most people got over this when they were six, but it took me a bit longer. After making numerous calls in French this year, talking on the phone in English now seems like such a breeze. I’m even learning to enjoy it. Weird. Explaining how I want my haircut? Did it in French, no problemo. Communication skills are up!
• My yearning for approval. As much as I hate to admit it, for a large part of my life I always sought the approval of those around me, often compromising my thoughts or opinions to remain neutral and liked by everyone. I still try to be diplomatic, but I’m tired of trying to please everyone. It’s exhausting to try and make everyone like you all the time, and quite frankly, there are some people’s opinions that I could care less about. I’m happy with who I am, and my thoughts are just as good as anyone else’s. As Dr. Seuss once said,“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
• 35 pounds. How this happened, I have absolutely no idea. Ask anyone who was with me, and they will tell you that I was constantly eating my entire body weight in local cuisine and cookies. I guess walking everywhere (including to the grocery store) and not having access to an insane buffet spread everyday will have an effect on your waistline.
• Hair. Some voluntarily via trendy euro haircut, some reluctantly via male pattern baldness. With bad hair genes running rampant on both sides of my family, I’ve been fearing hair loss since I hit puberty so this is by no means a shocking upset. I’ve always cherished my hair as one of my more attractive features, so it’s been rather disheartening to see how thin my bangs have become, but I’m dealing with it and enjoying my hair while it’s still around. Anyone know of any good natural hair loss prevention techniques?
• 15+ kilos of clothing. I realized at the end of the year that I owned way too many things that I just never wore, so I donated the equivalent of an entire suitcase of clothing. My luggage was of course still super heavy, but it felt good to clear out some of the excess. I managed with one 9 kilo backpack from May 5th to June 8th, so what the heck have I been doing with all of this other stuff my whole life? Traveling light is the way to go. I’m continuing the excess purge by donating yet another giant bag of unworn clothes that I found in my bedroom this week.
• A desire to teach. Teaching isn’t really my jam. At least not with French high school kids. I had some good times with my kids, but the fun tended to be a little over shadowed by the anxiety and stress of planning lessons. I haven’t entirely dismissed education as a job option, but it’s not at the top of my career aspirations list.

Things found:

• A voice through writing. I’m not always the best for engaging conversation topics or the most articulate in front of a crowded room, but I think I’m pretty decent with a pen and paper (or a screen and keyboard if you will). Writing gives me time to reflect and plan out my word choice just so to properly express myself. It can be a little meticulous and frustrating at times, but I’m so happy I took the time to write down my thoughts throughout the year. I hope my writing has helped my readers to gain a better understanding of me and the way I think. People seem to dig it, and I dig doing it, so maybe the writing will continue!
• Confidence. See [Lost:] “Some of my inhibitions” and “My yearning for approval” above.
• Friends. This was obviously inevitable, but I didn’t realize how meaningful some of my relationships abroad would end up being to me. The first time I met all of the other assistants at our teacher orientation, I was a total B and thought I would never get along with anyone. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I met some absolutely fabulous people in Saint-Brieuc, and looking back I can’t imagine my year without them.
• Food. I’ve learned some delicious recipes and cooking tips over the past 8 months, and I want to share them with all of you! So come get in the kitchen with me and we’ll make something together! Maybe I’ll even start a food blog. Or become a pastry chef. Thoughts?
• A beard. See: flickr account.
• Frequent flyer miles. Just kidding. If only Ryanair and SNCF had miles programs. And existed in the states. I would be all up on that.
• An immense respect for teachers. I’ve always regarded teaching as a noble profession, but after planning lessons and standing in front of a group of hormonal, self-absorbed, uninterested teenagers, I see teachers in an entirely different light. Good luck to all of my friends who are pursuing k-12 education, and thank you to everyone who put up with my (and mostly my fellow classmates’) teenage antics.
• Myself. See: all of the above. I’m constantly learning more about myself and realizing how much I am always changing, but being away helped me gain a sense of self-awareness that I never had before.

Things I miss about France/Europe:

• Sounds. Sights. Smells. Tastes. Being surrounded by Francophones. Charlie’s meow. Church bells marking the hour. The odd tritone used for emergency vehicle alarms. Market days. Galettes. Café terraces with 1€ espressos. Intricate architecture. Monuments all over the place. Striking landscapes. The sea. Bakeries. The cheese aisle at U Express. Our sunny yellow kitchen. Rainy/sunny/rainy/sunny/rainy days and the rainbows and sunsets they produce. Cheap wine that doesn’t taste like vinegar. Salted butter.
• Fresh baguettes. There is an amazing bakery on every street in France. There is approximately one amazing bakery per State. One of my life goals is to perfect the baking of une baguette de tradition. Once you’ve eaten french bread, there’s no going back.
• Public transport. The facility of navigating European cities puts metro transit to shame. Cars aren’t obligatory like they are stateside, partially because everything is much closer, but mostly because bus, train and metro systems are so much more efficient over seas! Also, I am a terrible driver highly dislike driving, so I’m all about public transport.  It makes so much more sense both economically and ecologically to share rides, but America can’t seem to get behind that. I’ll never understand why not.
• Global mentality and open minds.  In comparison with the French, Americans are incredibly self-centered and close-minded. I’m making a sweeping generalization here, obviously, but on the whole it seems to be true. We rarely focus on world news, and half of us couldn’t tell the difference between Iraq and Iran. Conservative Republicans don’t exist en masse and people are always fighting for change. I have some faith left in the progressive minds of my generation, especially in places like Minnesota, but other parts of the country worry me a bit. As long as Mitt Romney stays out of the white house, I think I’ll be okay.

Things I will be fine without:

• Restrictive hours. While I understand and respect the French ideal of giving store owners time to rest, everything closing at 7:30pm and ceasing to exist at all on Sundays did get rather annoying at times. Like 8:30pm on a Friday night and you realize you’ve run out of booze milk and can’t make macaroni and cheese. 24/7 supermarkets are a little insane, but they can be quite nice to have around every once in a while.
• Elderly roommates. Don’t get me wrong, I love René from the bottom of my heart and I am eternally grateful for everything he has done for me, but sometimes living with an obsessive compulsive 70 year old Frenchman was a little frustrating. He is an amazing person, but twenty-somethings and seventy-somethings don’t always see eye to eye. If I had to do it all over again, I would definitely still chose to live at 9 rue Chateaubriand, but I’m not planning on rooming with any other senior citizens in the near future.
• Smoke. I’ve never been one to hate on smokers, but oh my gawd do Europeans know how to suck down a pack of cigarettes. I’m all about letting people do what they want, but it’s nice to be back in a place where you have to step outside to take a puff.
• French t.v./radio. It’s awful. They tend to take all of the bad parts of American television and music and leave out all of the good parts. It’s amazing how few true French t.v. shows, movies and musicians actually exist.

I’m sure there are other things I should/could/would like to add to these lists, but my brain is feeling drained. I’ve been working on these lists on and off for nearly 12 hours now, and I can think no more. The lists may change slightly over the next few days if anything else pops into my head, but that’s all she wrote for now. Thanks for reading y’all. It’s been real. A million and one bisous to everyone who’s kept up with my European exploits over the past eight months, and a million and one bisous even to those who haven’t. I love you all to Europe and back.

xoxoxo Stephen

Disparate Youth

****************************************************************************************************

Remember that time I had a blog? I do. Do you? I wouldn’t be surprised if you happened to forget about it over my past three and a half week absence. It’s not necessarily that I haven’t had the time to write, but more that the thought of writing has become incredibly overwhelming each day I don’t write. There were so many stories and adventures to share from my Eastern European adventure with Victoria that I didn’t even know where to start! Since we got back two Saturdays ago, I’ve had the best intentions of writing, but there has just been crazy amounts of activities and so much planning an preparation going on leaving me no time to sit down and blabber on about my life. The days pass by quickly, and the sun in Bretagne is insanely deceptive. Sunset has been consistently holding out until 9:30 or later over the past month or so which has continued to blow my mind and throw me completely off balance.

Anyway, in a pathetic and lazy attempt to assuage any resentment you may have towards me for not writing about Poland, the Czech Republic, and Hungary, I’m providing you with the following cinematic masterpieces: video updates that Victoria recorded during our trip! To be perfectly honest with you, I haven’t actually watched them since I despise the sound of my own voice, but from what I remember of recording them, they’re a pretty decent (and mildly comedic?) recap of what we did. Please enjoy and accept them as the best I can do right now. Also, there are PLENTY of pictures on facebook! (I’ll try and post some on here later for anyone who happens to not be my fb-friend)

Jumpin around Euroland!

In other news, Kate has come to visit me! I’ve been kind of a booger of a host since I’ve been stressed with planning the rest of my trips/figure out my life… For example, I’m writing on my blog right now instead of spending time with her. I’m the worst, and I know it. We’ve been doing our best to have a good time though! Listening to k-pop, watching 90s movies, eating lots of delicious foods. We’re also going to try and get out a little the rest of the week, seeing some more typically “Bretagne” things like Ile-de-Bréhat and Rennes (to also conveniently return my cello). We’ll see what happens.

Also, my travel plans are almost finalized! Thank the lawd. I’ve been a giant ball of stress trying to figure it all out. My rough plan is as follows:

• May 5th to the 8th: Paris
• May 8th to the 10th: Budapest (again!)
• May 10th to 15th: Belgrade with my lovely friend Kristina!
• May 15th to 21st: Germany (cities TBD) to visit my roomie Alex!
• May 21st to June 6th: WWOOFing in Ireland (city/farm TBD)
• June 6th to June 8th: Paris
• June 8th: MINNEAPOLIS! Yes! My trip home has finally been planned!

I’m excited for all of these things, but already a little tired out just thinking about it all. Part of me is jealous of the other assistants who are already heading home this week, but I know I would regret not taking advantage of my time left in Europe. It’s going to be great, and coming home will surely be oh so lovely after my last month away.

Dark Blue/Grey

************************************************************************************************

I’m not sure what my problem is today, but I for the life of me cannot finish the simple task of packing my one tiny little suitcase for my Eastern European adventure. I washed and folded all of my clothes earlier this week. I neatly arranged all of my options on my bed between classes this morning. So why can’t I just pick out what I want and put it in that damn purple bag?! One of my main hang ups seems to be choosing between my dark blue and my light grey jeans. This is probably the dumbest problem anyone has ever had. It seems to be symbolic of my life: easy and comfortable but often made “difficult” by trivial choices that I often overanalyze. My indecisiveness is clearly one of my more attractive qualities.

It’s also probably somewhat the result of my current “limbo” state of being. Not knowing when I’ll be heading home. Not knowing if I’ll be hired for the most amazing summer job of my life. Having absolutely no backup to said wonderful summer job. Having no future projections past said wonderful summer job. Feeling so unbelievably ready to be done with teaching and return to Minnesota/feeling an overwhelming surge of jealousy at the sight of five friends posting joyful facebook statuses of their acceptance as teaching assistants for the fall. Wanting to go out and enjoy the last Friday before vacation/wanting to stay in to shake off the lasting dregs of yet another cold. Flurgh. Boy needs to get it together.

On a much happier note… I’M GOING TO POLAND TOMORROW AND I COULD NOT BE MORE JAZZED! My friend Victoria and I have planned a stellar tour of Poland, the Czech Republic, and Hungary, mostly with the intent to make headlines by running all of Eastern Europe into a terrible food crisis by eating anything and everything they have to offer. Watch out Slavs – one dynamic digestion duo is coming for your provisions. As Tina Fey so aptly described Slavic food in her book Bossypants (which I highly recommend you read/listen to on audiobook) “… it’s buttery and delicious. It’s just potatoes, rice, meat, and cabbage in an endless series of combinations.” I fully intend to eat my entire body weight in pierogi. Every night. This may actually be possible since Eastern European currency is worth approximately nothing compared to the Euro. It’s going to be fabulously gluttonous, and I can’t wait!

Because of this wonderful 13 day voyage, I probably won’t be posting anything new until I get back. At that point, be ready for me to lay it on thick. Like Polish butter thick. Or thin if all we end up doing is eating and I have nothing else to describe but the appetizing confections I have consumed. Since I’ll be missing two photo sundays, I’m going to get a head start and show you what I’ve been up to over the past five days (I had to retype that 4 times to keep myself from saying “fast pive days”). It hasn’t been a whole lot since I caught myself  a lovely cold on Sunday and have been pretty bummed about the fact that Alex had to head home to Germany on Wednesday… That being said, here are some pix for your viewing displeasure:

Day 19: sick and sleepy

Day 20: sickness continued. my ever so lovely tonsils.

Day 21: Alex left today. The house feels rather empty without her here. Bisous ma chérie!

Day 22: Day trip to Binic. Taken with the assistance of Kate P!

Day 23: sunny afternoon spent reading "Le Neveu Du Magicien" by C.S. Lewis in my favorite reading tree

Must go to sleep now! Travel day tomorrow! Bisous xoxoxoxoxoxo

P.S. For those of your concerned, I decided on the dark blue over the grey.

Two Weeks

*********************************************************************************************************

Two weeks. That’s all that rests of my obligations as an English teaching assistant. One week on either side of my upcoming two week Easter vacation. Um… how is this possible!? The past six months have slipped away so quickly. Some days it feels like I’ve been here forever, and others it feels like I just arrived. I’ll likely still be in Europe for the next two or three months (depending on what happens with some summer job applications), but this time will no doubt pass by just as quickly. I’m feeling a bit conflicted about the imminent end of my year abroad, but I’m mostly at ease with the idea. Giving up extravagant European adventures, delicious French cuisine, and my twelve hour work week won’t be easy, but I am very much ready to see family and friends again. But enough about that for now. There is still time, and I plan to make the most of it!

It’s also been two weeks (and a few days) since I started my new photography project. It’s crazy to think that I’m only on day 18 of 365, but I’m pleased with how it’s been going so far. I’ve been discovering a lot about my camera, photoshop, and myself.

Day 12

Day 13: Spring has sprung

Day 14: Day trip to the beautiful Ile de Bréhat

Day 15: The aftermath of a sunny day on the island, sans sunscreen

Day 16: levitating in the backyard

Day 17: Feets

Celebrating Erinn's birthday with a bbq chez moi

Day 18: APRIL FOOLS! I TRICKED YOU! I'M NOT ACTUALLY NAKED!

Bisous bisous

Come Wind, Come Rain

Song of the day: “Come wind, come rain” by Vashti Bunyan

*********************************************************************************************************

Last night, as I tossed and turned in bed, I decided I needed to start a new project. Something to give focus to my free time, to busy my idle hands and idle mind. There are hundreds of unfulfilled intentions floating around in my mind at any given moment, and seldom do I actually act upon them. But today was different. Spring is in the air, and I’m ready for new things!

Today, I took the first step in a photography project that I’ve been thinking about doing for quite some time: A 365 Day Portrait Project. It’s by no means a unique endeavor, but an interesting challenge nonetheless. If you’ve ever browsed around “Flickr” (or any other photo-sharing site) you have undoubtedly seen examples of this type of undertaking, some much better than others. For those of you unfamiliar, the concept is simple: take at least one picture of yourself every single day for 365 days, otherwise known as a year [minus February 29th]. It’s an interesting way to see yourself in new ways, document your life/surroundings, push your creative boundaries, and force yourself to take out your camera more often.

I’ve been waiting for the right moment to start, but I realized today that waiting was silly and senseless. What was I waiting for? A new beginning? A new month? A new year? A new setting? I’ve already had all of these things come and go within the past year, and yet I’ve failed to seize these opportunities to start my project. So today I said goodbye to waiting. The Ides of March is as good a time as any, right? Plus, I have been watching an inane amount of America’s Next Top Model with Victoria over the past week or so, and it’s been making me want to take pictures (and buy new clothes) like crazy.

Without further ado, here is numero uno:

Waiting? I'm over it

I haven’t decided whether or not I’ll be posting them here everyday, but they will definitely be available for viewing on my flickr photostream. Depends on how interesting they end up being I suppose!

In addition to my self-portraits, I’m going to try and take at least one photo of some other part of my day as well. A place I visit, someone I spend time with, something delicious I eat, and so on and so forth. My time in France is quickly disappearing, and I want to document it!

Today’s photo: MY NEW LIBRARY CARD!

Having fun, isn't hard, when you've got a library card!

Why it has taken me nearly six months to get my ass to the library, I have no idea. Ridiculous. I’ve had so much free time to read, yet I’ve only made it through three books since I got to France. Also, there are about 2350984608236 books I should/want to read. Leave it on the internet and reality television to turn my brain to mush. While I’m sure my t.v. addiction will not cease, I’m going to do my best to break up t.v. streaks with books from now on. I’m pumped to start checking out books and movies again! Today I found:

1. Fresh et Bio: a vegetarian/organic cook book with some delish looking recettes
2. Paris: a film by  Cederic Klapisch (director of L’Auberge Espagnole)
3. Une forme de vie and Acide sulfurique: two novels by Belgium author Amélie Nothomb, the first of which I’m already halfway done with, thanks to a lovely afternoon spent reading in the grass.

I was also lucky enough to end my day with a skype call from my dear friend, Sarah G. We caught up, of course, but more importantly, we made faces at each other. As it turns out, Sarah’s nose does a great mushroom impression.

q.t.p.2.t.

All in all, today was a good day. Bisous bisous! xoxoxo

How Stephen Got His Groove Back

Well shit. Looks like another month has come and gone without much notice, and without much commentary on my behalf. I’d like to say that I barely wrote anything during the second half of January because I was out and about, busy beyond belief without a second to spare and never on the internet, but that would be a blatant lie. The truth is quite the opposite to be perfectly honest. As I mentioned before, I had gotten myself into a bit of a mid-year slump after the holidays, and though I tried to pull myself out of it as quickly as possible, these things take some time. Cooking and baking and blogging have all been helpful tools, but being stuck in Saint-Brieuc for the the entire month of January was a bit of a road block. When I wasn’t preoccupied with the oven, I found myself in my room watching things like Downton Abbey (which, by the way, is an amazing show that I highly recommend watching if you haven’t yet) and eating more than my fair share of desserts. I was far from being clinically depressed, but was still highly unmotivated thanks to a bout cold weather, the unglamorous ‘city’ of Saint-Brieuc, and an ever impending sense of doom looming over my undecided future. Dramatic much? Oui.

Luckily, February has thus far been a breath of fresh air and the rest of the month is full of promise. Out of nowhere, there seems to be so much to do and see! Being too busy to write has become a legitimate excuse over the past week, and the fun of February isn’t even half over! With a road trip to Normandy and a pseudo-weekend in Rennes already under my belt, I still have a week long trip to Picardie followed by an Italian tour to look forward to! My mind has been a little all over the place lately trying to keep the travel plans straight for all four of these trips, but it’s kept me busy and anxious in an excited way. Places to go! People to see! Much better than brooding in my bed. Who ever would’ve thought February could be so grand?

As I headed out to Normandy this past weekend in a nine person “mini-bus” with my Franco-American crew, I couldn’t help but recall another voyage made not so long ago. Last January during interim break, I headed South with my friends Sarah, Clara, Ann, and Laurel for an Arkansan adventure that I’ll never forget. The week we spent in Conway was by far one of the most hilarious and enjoyable times of my conscious life, both extremely exciting and incredibly relaxing. Being in warm weather, going on mountainous walks, singing show tunes at the dinner table, drinking $1.99 margarita’s at JJ’s, giving into/falling in love with country music, cave diving, curling up on couches, learning about places like Pickle’s Gap and Toad Suck, baking buttloads of cookies and decorating a staggering number of Valentine’s Day cards made for a welcome recess from freezing/studying our asses off at Olaf. Breaking routine, visiting somewhere new, and being surrounded by wonderful people gave everything a new light. There was a sense of comfort and openness with my friends after being together day and night for the entirety of break. It’s so easy to get caught up in the stresses of life, but weeks like that help you notice how happy things can be when you let go and have some uninhibited fun. #clichécentralbutwhateveritstrue #ewijustusedahashtag

The beginning of something beautiful

happy beings behind falsely angry façades

hot potatoes make the world go round and cause awkward photographic reactions

The MOST Valentine's Arkansas has ever seen

The weekend at my friend Leslie’s in Normandy essentially served the same revitalizing purpose as the week in Arkansas but in a much more urgently-needed and heightened sense. Getting the heck out of St-B. and letting things loose in the country shook things up and made me giddy. Making homemade pizza in a giant brick oven, sipping on cidre and wine, cuddling with an adorable dog, seeing the tragically beautiful beaches of Normandy, visiting the epic tapestry of Bayeux, gathering around a raclette, wandering around the countryside, playing charades and trivial pursuit, watching the Superbowl (for the sake of Madonna), getting snowed-in and missing a full day of work (snow days do still exist!), and marveling at Le Mont Saint-Michel made for a memorable weekend that has given me a firm shove out of my previous slump status. My life is nuts, in a good way. I’m sending out a MILLION thanks to Leslie and Allie for making this weekend happen! You two are the bomb.

Kate presenting Leslie's cozy little home

HOMEMADE PIZZA

Raclette Dinner chez Leslie

Le Mont St-Michel

Even though the characters and settings of my life continue to change, there are certain things that remain true:

• traveling with someone is one of the best ways to really get to know them
• cold weather is relative
• snow days are always the best days
• road trips are always the best trips
• food brings people together, namely potatoes
• charades requires more skill than you think
• sleeping between two people is starts out as a wonderful idea until you become a fiery hot mess
• 90s jams alway make the perfect car ride soundtrack

My upgraded emotional status stuck with me throughout this week as more classes were canceled (making this a four-day-work-MONTH) and as I headed to Rennes on Tuesday afternoon for a mid-week weekend. Our last-minute-guest-conductor-turned-new-found-friend from last year’s orchestra tour, Tito Munoz, was in town directing Bejamin Britten’s opera,  The Turn of the Screw. I got to see the show with my resident Rennes friends (Mary Claire, Berit, and most recently relocated Steph!), and got a chance to hang out/catch up with Tito after the show which was great! Talking about last year’s tour made me freshly miss orchestra, but there was a welcomed sense of nostalgia and plenty of other things to talk about to keep us from focusing too heavily on the past. My days off gave me plenty of time to get in some good one-on-one time with Steph and Berit as well, nicely rounding off my time in Rennes.

So that’s more or less where my life is at. There’s still plenty to worry about (and a mouthful of canker sores to prove it), with my sister out of commission thanks to her gallbladder, open-ended travel plans, unplanned lessons to teach, and my future continuing to be 100% uncertain, but present life is pretty good with trips on either side of me. My chin is up, and I’m ready for more fun. Come and join my party! Catch ya on the other side of Italy!

Bisous bisous xoxo

A Foray in Fried Food: Adventures in Falafel

Growing up in the land of hot dishes and deep fried delicacies gave me profound appreciation for rich, heavy foods. Many of my favorite dishes involve ample amounts of cheese, butter, potatoes and carbs. As a  born and raised Minnesotan, it seemed inevitable that I would one day try my hand at frying food. Today was that day. While I love me a good plate of onion rings or a nice boat of cheese curds, I opted for a something not expected from the State Fair. Instead of making something from the Midwest, I made something from the Middle East: Falafel! Tasty, light, and 100% VEGAN!

I’ve been craving these delicious chickpea fritters for quite sometime, and I’m pleased as punch that I finally took the plunge and whipped some up with my friend Victoria! Having never fried anything before, cooking was not without a few minor bumps and set backs, but as Julia Child once said, “No matter what happens in the kitchen, never apologize!” There were a couple “testers” that flopped, but the end result was fantastic, well worth it and much easier than originally anticipated. If you’ve never plopped anything in a rolling pot of oil, you are missing out. There is something strangely satisfying about watching something bubble and boil until its outsides are crispy and brown. As it turns out, this is also not as bad for your health as you may have thought! A recent article from BBC says that experts found no heightened risk of heart disease or premature death linked to food that had been fried using olive or sunflower oil! Awesome.

Per usual, I created my own recipe using a combination of different suggestions found via google. My two main sources were about.com and foodnetwork, helped along with my personal experiences of successful falafel tastings. Victoria and were quite pleased with the results. We served our falafel with a simple couscous salad (recipe below), but they can also be enjoyed in a warm pita with cucumbers, tomatoes, and shredded lettuce. Without further ado…

Falafel and Couscous Salad

INGREDIENTS:

100% VEGAN!

2 (15 oz.) cans chickpeas (garbanzo beans), drained and rinsed

1 tsp. baking powder

1 medium sized onion, coarsely chopped

5 garlic cloves, smashed and chopped

1 T. tahini

1 T. ground cumin

2 tsp. ground coriander

1/2 tsp. ground cayenne or red pepper flakes

1/4 tsp. ground ginger

1/2 tsp. salt

1/4 tsp. black pepper

1 handful of fresh parsley, finely chopped

5-7 T. all-purpose flour

Olive or sunflower oil for frying

WHAT TO DO:

1) GRIND UP ON IT: Using either a food processor or a medium sized bowl and an immersion blender, grind up the chickpeas. Don’t go crazy – a few lumps should remain, but make sure there are no whole chickpeas left.

2) MIX, AND KEEP ON GRINDIN: Add in the baking powder, onion, garlic, tahini, spices, and herbs, then keep on keepin on. Blend until a thick paste is formed, scrapping down the sides of the bowl as needed. A few chunks here and there are kinda nice in my opinion, but make sure the spices and flour are evenly incorporated.

3) COOL DOWN AND HEAT UP: Put the mixture in the fridge for at least fifteen minutes. The cooler it is, the better it will stick together while frying. At the same time, start heating up about 3 inches of oil in a small pot or deep frying pan. It should be around 375° F (190° C), but if you don’t have a cooking thermometer, “medium-high” should suffice.

4) FRY THAT SHIT: Form the batter into ping-pong size balls, and carefully plop them into the hot oil making sure they don’t stick to the bottom of the pan. Fry, turning as needed until they’re crispy and golden brown on all sides. Remove with a slotted spoon to drain off excess oil, and let dry slightly on a plate lined with paper towels.

5) IMPORTANT FRYING TIPS:

• Do a test run! Before sacrificing precious batter, try frying just one at first. This will give you a chance to test the temperature of the oil and the consistency of the batter.
• If a strange bubble forms at the top of the falafel, the oil may not be hot enough, or the dough not cool enough.
• If the ball falls apart while frying, add a little more flour to the batter to thicken it up.
• Don’t crowd the balls! They need some space to get nice and brown on all sides, plus it will be easier to scoop them out with out damage if you have some space to move around!
• Make sure the oil is deep enough. If the falafel isn’t fully submerged, it won’t brown properly on all sides!

6) EAT AND BE HAPPY: As I mentioned above, falafel can be served a number of different ways. No matter how you eat it, though, falafel is sure to put a smile on your face, and happiness in your stomach. Unless you messed up and give yourself food poisoning.

LEMON THYME COUSCOUS SALAD À LA VICTORIA MEADER

INGREDIENTS:

ALSO 100% VEGAN!

1 cup couscous

1 cup water

1 T. olive oil

1/2 T. lemon juice

1/2 tsp. dried thyme

1/4 tsp. garlic salt

Salt

Pepper

1/2 medium onion, diced

3 medium size tomatoes, diced

1/2 cucumber, diced

WHAT TO DO:

1) COOK THE COUSCOUS: Instructions on your preferred brand of couscous may vary, but generally speaking here’s what you do. Bring a cup of water and a dash of salt to a boil over high heat. Once the water is nice and bubbly, remove from the burner, add the couscous, stir, and cover. It should be ready in 4 or 5 minutes.

2) GIVE IT SOME FLAVA: After fluffing the couscous with a fork, add the oil, lemon juice, thyme, and garlic and give it a nice stir. Salt and pepper to taste.

3) MIX IN SOME VEGGIES: Enough said.

4) EAT HOT OR COLD: Simple as that! It serves wonderfully as a bed for the falafel, but is definitely just as good on it’s own.

Happy Middle Eastern dining! XOXO

Chocolate Zucchini Blog

As I’ve mentioned in some of my previous posts, a considerable amount of my time in France is spent in the kitchen. I am a huge fan of cooking and baking, and more importantly, a huge fan of eating. Not to be arrogant, but I must say that my culinary efforts have resulted in some pretty effing delicious things. And since nothing particularly interesting has happened in the past couple of weeks, I thought it would be fun to start adding some of my favorite recipes to my blog to spice things up – pun fully intended. I’ll add things as I make them, allowing you all to drool over the pictures, thus inspiring you to get into the kitchen yourselves!

We’ll start with something that’s as simple as it is delicious: Chocolate Zucchini Bread! I absolutely love “quick” breads, and this one has been at the top of my list for quite some time because it combines two of my favorite things: chocolate and zucchini. It’s best to make in the later months of summer when the vegetable is in season, but should be made year round because it is always tasty. Always. Plus, you’ll feel a lot better eating chocolate knowing that low-calorie, vitamin-rich zucchini is involved! The recipe I used is a modified version of one found on joyofbaking.com. Mine basically uses a little more flour, slightly different spices, apple sauce instead of vegetable oil, and of course more chocolate. I’ve made the original in the past with great success, but prefer my tweaked version for obvious reasons (mostly the extra chocolate). Voilà un photo, followed by the recipe:

Chocolate Zucchini Bread

Ingredients:

1 and 1/2 cups shredded raw zucchini (about 1 large zucchini)

1 and 1/4 cups all-purpose flour

1/2 cup unsweetened cocoa powder, sifted

1 tsp. baking soda

1/4 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp. salt

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

1/4 tsp. ground ginger

1/4 tsp. ground cloves

1/2 cup unsweetened apple sauce

1/2 cup white sugar

1/2 light brown sugar, packed

2 eggs

1 tsp. vanilla extract

1 cup semi-sweet chocolate chips

What to do:

1) PREPARE: Before you start mixing away, get yourself ready with a few important steps:

• First, grease a 9 x 5 x 3 inch bread pan with a considerable amount of butter (or PAM if you’re lazy), because there is nothing worse than a stuck loaf of bread. Set aside.
• Second, grate the zucchini so it’s ready to mix in later.
• Third, Preheat the oven to 350°F (about 175°C)

2) MIX DRY INGREDIENTS: In a medium sized bowl, whisk together the flour, cocoa powder, baking soda, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, ginger, and cloves until well blended and all the lumpies are gone.

3) BLEND “WET” INGREDIENTS: In a large bowl, beat together the apple sauce, sugars, eggs, and vanilla extract with an electric mixer until well-blended. Don’t go crazy – about two minutes should do. Fold in the shredded zucchini.

4) COMBO TIME: Add the flour/cocoa/spice mixture to the big bowl, and beat with the mixer, just until blended and everything becomes and irresistible chocolately color. Lick off the beaters (unless you’re a germaphobe and fear getting salmonella poisoning) because they will taste wonderful. Fold in the chocolate chips using a rubber scrapper and be amazed by what you have just created!

5) BAKE THAT SHIT: Scrape the batter into the greased up pan and bake until the bread has risen and you can stick a toothpick into the center without it coming out all poopy. This can take anywhere from 55 minutes to an hour and a half, so start with 55 minutes and gauge things from there.

6) WAIT: This is the hardest part. Distract yourself with books, magazines, T.V., musical instruments… whatever you have on hand really.

7) BE COOL: You will be tempted to eat the bread the second it comes out of the oven. Don’t do this unless you want molten chocolate to burn your fingers and scald your throat. Let it cool in the pan on a wire rack for about 10 minutes. Carefully remove the loaf from the pan. Joy of baking suggests waiting until the bread has completely cooled outside of the pan before eating, but I disagree. After 10 minutes, it is fair game and you should have at it.

8) ENJOY: Don’t be shocked if the entire loaf is gone within the same day of making it. It can be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner, and you probably will want to eat it for all three.

Pair it with a glass of milk!

Happy Baking! Bisous bisous!

Mid-Winter Slump

For the past week or so, I’ve been wanting to add a new post to keep up with a resolution to write more. The problem is, nothing blog worthy has really happened as of late, leaving me with a lack of words, and a longing for something to happen. I’ve been hesitant to write, worrying that anything would be dull in comparison to my Austrian adventures. Seems likely that this may well be the case. But in recent days, I’ve come to terms with this humdrum reality and thought I would take this chance to be honest with myself about my state of being by being honest will all of you. I’m constantly inspired by the unabashed sincerity in my dear friend Clara’s blog, and I feel like it’s time to open up and take a little break from my sugar coated tales of European life.

You see, I’ve hit a bit of a mid-winter slump. The term “mid-winter” seems somewhat inappropriate since the temperature hasn’t been below 45° F all week, but it is mid-January after all. I guess it’s more of a mid-year slump, really. So I present you with a series of whiney unreasonable complaints causes for said slumpiness:

The holidays are over, and the lights have been taken down leaving the streets of Saint-Brieuc drab and lifeless. The infamous French “soldes” (January sales) have begun, which would normally be cause for celebration, but I’m broke from my extravagant Christmas which makes the sales depressing instead of joyous. I work less in a month than most people work in a week, but the few hours that I’m actually teaching tend to be supplemented by many more hours of stress outside of school spent worrying over lesson plans and how my kids will be behave. I want to bake, but I stop myself out of fear of gaining more butter weight. Lord knows I already consume more than a reasonable number of calories in wine and beer since the other assistants and I lack originality in our methods of entertainment. I have intentions of being productive with my excessive free time, but the rainy weather blurs the days together and tires me out so that the only “productive” things I end up doing are finishing seasons of T.V. shows, eating, and putting my dirty clothes in the hamper (but not actually washing them). And while I’ve met wonderful people here, it still doesn’t make up for the fact that I miss everyone stateside. It also doesn’t excuse the fact that I’ve been pretty damn awful at keeping in touch with many of you, another resolution that  needs resolving.

I do indeed love France, but its charm has faded a bit, and the novelty of being here has begun to dissipate. I by no means want to idly wish away the rest of my time here, but rather I want to find ways to profit from the quickly disappearing months that still rest. I want to find a presence in this present, thanks again to Clara. When my visa runs out in six months, I want to look back at my time here knowing that I didn’t waste it. I’ve already had some life changing experiences, and I want them to keep on coming. This slump needs to end, and I need to get back to living and experiencing things with fresh and excited eyes.

One of the biggest obstacles that’s been keeping me from being alive in the present is my lack of foresight. One of my most important New Year’s resolutions was to figure out what I’ll be doing when teaching is up, but I’ve yet to bring this goal to fruition. I don’t intend to figure out a life plan or anything, but it would put my mind at ease if I at least figured out the next step. When I started work, the end of my contract seemed so far ahead that I didn’t dare think about my next move. Truth is, April 30th is approaching faster than I’d care to admit to myself. Renewing my teaching contract is a tempting option, but I’ve been trying to weigh out the pros and cons of this theoretical situation. On the plus side, I’d love to stay here, I could keep working on my French, the hours are great, the pay is decent considering the workload, I wouldn’t have to look for work elsewhere, and I could keep traveling. On the other hand, I would have to wait until May or later to find out if there’s a position for me, I would probably have to find some crap job to fill the three or four month gap between teaching contracts, I could be placed in a shitty school in a tiny town, I hate how stressed out I get about teaching, I miss my friends and family, and I would more or less just be putting off finding an actual job and/or continuing my education… Hmm. Decisions. I’m not the best at them. I guess I need to figure out what some other possible options before I decide anything, though. Let me know if you’ve got any thoughts, dear readers!

Well it’s getting late here in Franceland, and I have to get up before the sun tomorrow… Bed time for me!

Bisous

Ready or not

As a twenty-two year old liberal arts graduate spending a year teaching abroad in France, of all places, a blog seems practically obligatory in this day and age. All the cool kids are doing it. I’m quite the twenty-first century cliché, I know. While I don’t expect anyone other than my mother to read this on a regular basis, a blog seems like a good way to cope with the current transitions in my life, organize my thoughts, and stay connected with those far away. If nothing else, it will exist as a souvenir to aid my less than perfect memory in recalling this time away.

My optimistic side hopes that I will have hilarious anecdotes and beautiful, serendipitous moments to share with everyone, while my cynical side worries that I will have to rely on my creative writing skills to come up with interesting falsehoods to keep you all reading. Reality may find me somewhere in between the two, forcing myself to shade real life events with more colorful details. We’ll see. My inner student sadistically mourns the loss of writing assignments, so blogging will also act as a friendly replacement for research papers and rédactions. I am doubtful that the things I write about will amount to the side-splitting hilarity of Lindsay Berg’s From Russia With Love, or the thoughtful insight of Clara’s Second Set of Baby Steps, but I do anticipate having things worth writing about! If not, I can always post a pretty picture to make up for it.

But enough about blogging. The more important thing here… I’M MOVING TO FRANCE! It has taken awhile to really set in thanks to the emotional rollercoaster of graduation, the move back home for the summer, a rather unfortunate job as a barista at a highly unsuccessful café in the ‘burbs, and some fun summer activities with friends to distract me. With the move creeping up so quickly, however, it is finally starting to hit me: I’m not packing the van and heading back to St. Olaf. I’m packing my suitcase and flying to France. This last summer has definitely had its highs and lows, and I’m feeling quite ready for it to be over. Peace out America, I’m heading to Franceland. Exchanging the red, white, and blue for the bleu, blanc, et rouge, trading out cold weather beanies for fashion-forward berets, and bracing myself for an abundance of cheese and wine. Though the two teeter back and forth constantly on a not so stable scale, excitement is outweighing anxiety at this point. In spite of the myriad of stresses of moving and my never-ending to-do list, life seems pretty great right now.

La vie en France seems like such a romantic idea, and having been there before, I’m well aware of its beauty and charm. There are countless things about Minnesota that will be dearly missed such as my family, friends, pets, and brown sugar to mention a few, but I am pumped beyond belief for what awaits overseas! While I was originally hoping for my teaching assignment to be in a larger city like Rennes, Lyon or Paris, I have fully embraced the idea of life in a smaller French town. I anticipate my life in Saint-Brieuc to be something like this:

Not really. But kind of. One can hope, right? Won’t know until I get there, I suppose. I would surely appreciate this kind of provincial life more than Belle ever did. With a population of approximately 46,000 (more than double that of Northfield!) it probably won’t be the quant village life of Belle I’m imagining, but it still seems quite charming. In all seriousness, though, as long as there is a boulangerie nearby with fresh baguettes, coastal views, and people to speak French with, I will be more than happy.

Time to return to the aforementioned to-do list. Next up: Garage sale.

Grosses bises (xoxo)